Reasons To Drink – More Scary Ways That Civilization Could End

We all drink for different reasons. And one of the reasons why we drink at the American Craft Beer compound is to take the “edge” off of a sometimes troubling and unruly world.

And if we didn’t already have enough to worry about – we do now – because an Oxford study just came out about likely ways that our world could end – and we don’t like any of them.

The report itself, which first came to our attention via the Financial Times, is explained as “a scientific assessment about the possibility of oblivion,” and that terminology alone might drive any sane individual to start drinking early. 

So here are some ways that “our civilization to end in the next 100 years” – and every one of them suggests that a stiff drink might be in order…

1. Artificial Intelligence – The Future of Humanity Institute, the multidisciplinary research organization at the University of Oxford that released this study, is very concerned machine intelligence could take over the world and lead to our demise. Given the nightmare that Windows 8 unleashed on the world, we feel that threat is very real and with Google now developing robotic dogs, we can’t help but worry.

2. Extreme Climate Change – With Boston buried under mountains of snow and much of the country still reeling from sub-Artic temperatures, this one feels sooner rather than later. Time to start hoarding the Barleywines everybody – you might just need them to survive. Global warming was maybe never the right term – but something cataclysmic could be coming – and humanity may be forced to “weather it.”

3. Global System Catastrophe – In today’s interconnected world, unexpected systematic failures could occur with global consequences. Economic collapse could lead to social chaos, civil unrest, and a breakdown in law and order. Greece seems more than ready to default on their debt (further endangering the stability of the Euro), and with the Feds pumping money into our economic system like there’s no tomorrow – there may be no tomorrow.

4. Bad Global Governance – There are two main divisions in governance disasters the study explains: failing to solve major solvable problems and actively causing worse outcomes. Politicians and governments may have convinced us that they can protect us from events like economic disasters and climate change – but who can protect us from them? It takes just one self-righteous madman in a position of power to send the world into a tailspin – and we’re going down with it.

5. Super Volcanos – The study suggests it’s not the actual volcanos that pose the biggest threats (tell that to the 71,000 inhabitants of Sumbawa island who perished in 1815 when Mt. Tambora erupted); it’s the volcano’s aftereffects that would block the sun’s rays and lead to a global winter that we need to worry about. “The effect of [historic eruptions] could be best compared with that of a nuclear war,” one researcher said, as we handed him another beer.

6. Ecological Catastrophe – “Species extinction is now far faster than the historic rate,” the study warns and researchers say that “humanity either has to conserve the ecosystem, or hope that civilization is not dependent on it.” Fat chance of that. (See #2, #3, #4, and maybe even #5)

Feel like a drink now? God knows we do.

But wer’e not done!  We’ve even scarier ways that civilization might end…So check in with us next week for even more reasons to drink.