It may be just me, but I honestly believe that Halloween is the best holiday. Seriously, I love it so much that my wife and I celebrate our anniversary on that day. Again, totally serious.
As we got close to the end of October, it became obvious to me that we needed to have a discussion about the real things that go bump in the night. The call went out to the team: “What should we be drinking this All Hallow’s Eve?” The answers were terrifying.
Okay, they really aren’t that scary, but there were so many that I got to choose the ones with…well…the most appropriate names, feels, and downright amazingness. This is a list of brews you should have around while waiting for all of the ankle-biters to ring your bell (click on the images for a larger view).
Great Lakes Brewing Company’s Nosferatu
Imperial Red Ale
Look at that face. LOOK AT IT! It is horrible. That is the kind of face that would render a nun unconscious. This is what a vampire should look like. See those fangs? See those soul-stealing eyes? The pointy ears? Forget sparkles – this is scary.
Nebraska Brewing Company’s Wick for Brains
Pumpkin Ale
Personally, this is offensive. How dare you mock those of us with slower brain function than others!? Sorry? Oh…it’s not? Well, isn’t my face red…Then in that case, this name is pretty damn awesome.
Southern Tier Brewing Company’s Warlock
Imperial Stout Brewed With Pumpkins
From the minds that brought you Pumpking, one of the best pumpkin beers, we now have Warlock. I see this and my first thought is: “What is he plotting?” This little pumpkin has something on his mind, and it feels like it may have something to do with eating my face. I bet if you drank this beer and then stared at the logo, you might slip into some sort of trance and end up naked in a neighbor’s tree.
The Lost Abbey Box Set: Track #6: Highway to Hell
Blended Ale Aged in Oak Barrels
In my opinion, there is nothing more terrifying than driving into hell. Getting into your car, turning on the air conditioning, and driving towards sure death. But what’s worse than being surrounded by skeletons on motorcycles!?
Greenbush Brewing’s Unicorn Killer
Pumpkin Ale
Regularly, I am all for destroying mythical creatures when you find one – there is quite a black market for leprechaun ears – but there is something specifically upsetting about the destruction of a unicorn. Unicorns mean rainbows, rainbows mean happy, and happy tends to go with happiness. And then throw the creepy hairy/fiery circus thing on its back…
Have a safe and fun Halloween!