Beer is Terrifying: A Craft Halloween

It may be just me, but I honestly believe that Halloween is the best holiday. Seriously, I love it so much that my wife and I celebrate our anniversary on that day. Again, totally serious. 

As we got close to the end of October, it became obvious to me that we needed to have a discussion about the real things that go bump in the night. The call went out to the team: “What should we be drinking this All Hallow’s Eve?” The answers were terrifying. 

Okay, they really aren’t that scary, but there were so many that I got to choose the ones with…well…the most appropriate names, feels, and downright amazingness. This is a list of brews you should have around while waiting for all of the ankle-biters to ring your bell (click on the images for a larger view). 

, Beer is Terrifying: A Craft Halloween

Great Lakes Brewing Company’s Nosferatu

Imperial Red Ale

Look at that face. LOOK AT IT! It is horrible. That is the kind of face that would render a nun unconscious. This is what a vampire should look like. See those fangs? See those soul-stealing eyes? The pointy ears? Forget sparkles – this is scary.

  

, Beer is Terrifying: A Craft HalloweenNebraska Brewing Company’s Wick for Brains

Pumpkin Ale

Personally, this is offensive. How dare you mock those of us with slower brain function than others!? Sorry? Oh…it’s not? Well, isn’t my face red…Then in that case, this name is pretty damn awesome. 

 

, Beer is Terrifying: A Craft Halloween

Southern Tier Brewing Company’s Warlock

Imperial Stout Brewed With Pumpkins

From the minds that brought you Pumpking, one of the best pumpkin beers, we now have Warlock. I see this and my first thought is: “What is he plotting?” This little pumpkin has something on his mind, and it feels like it may have something to do with eating my face. I bet if you drank this beer and then stared at the logo, you might slip into some sort of trance and end up naked in a neighbor’s tree.

 

, Beer is Terrifying: A Craft Halloween

The Lost Abbey Box Set: Track #6: Highway to Hell

Blended Ale Aged in Oak Barrels

 

In my opinion, there is nothing more terrifying than driving into hell. Getting into your car, turning on the air conditioning, and driving towards sure death. But what’s worse than being surrounded by skeletons on motorcycles!? 

 

 

, Beer is Terrifying: A Craft HalloweenGreenbush Brewing’s Unicorn Killer

Pumpkin Ale

Regularly, I am all for destroying mythical creatures when you find one – there is quite a black market for leprechaun ears – but there is something specifically upsetting about the destruction of a unicorn. Unicorns mean rainbows, rainbows mean happy, and happy tends to go with happiness. And then throw the creepy hairy/fiery circus thing on its back…

 

Have a safe and fun Halloween!

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